I’m often amazed by just how backwards we are taught to think by our parents, school systems, and religious leaders. In fact often we are offered a perspective that is exactly opposite of the true nature.

You could almost tell your children to reverse what they are given in school and church and end up with a very enlightened, grounded human being after a decade or so. I’m (mostly) joking of course; but it does seem like most of us come to a point in our life journey where we must “abandon ship” and completely let go of everything we’ve been told so we can find the truth.

We come to that point where we must unlearn the fallacies we’ve inherited from mainstream education and consensus acceptance. How much easier might it be if we stopped teaching children these backward concepts in the first place?

A few tangible examples of what I’m referring to are…

Backward Belief: Life Happens “To Us” Rather Than Through Us

The commonly accepted idea that things happen to us in life, and then we feel a certain way about these events. How did we come to this belief when it is so clearly flawed?

If you watch your life closely you’ll find the opposite is true: You feel a certain way and then events and circumstances in your life align with these feelings. It’s subtle but you’ll definitely see it when you look for it.

This erroneous paradigm is the root of all victimhood and all shrugging off of responsibility. It teaches our young people that life happens without their input and the best they can hope for is to get tough and accept it; while there is some value in the latter idea of resilience a wonderful point is still being missed from this perspective.

How a person feels is a critical ingredient to the things that happen to him or her in life.

Backward Belief: Failure Is Inherently Wrong And “Success” Is The Goal

The counterintuitive nature of this is blatantly apparent. Set a new goal around anything – anything at all – and then get to work making your goal a reality.

It’s true we all experience those moments of pure creation where we synchronize with a task, skill, or whatever almost immediately. We call this beginner’s luck, or we say someone has a natural talent.

But in most cases even when latent talent exists we must experience multiple “failures” before producing the right result. And often this natural procession causes people to berate themselves, lose confidence, and even give in to despair.

In fact the very idea of failure is nonsense. In almost any worthwhile undertaking there will be a series of initial encounters that allow one to adjust his or her approach and get a deep feel for the activity or process.

We are taught to see this as blundering and staggering. But in truth this is a natural and wonderful acclimation or transition that must happen so we can be comfortable with new actions, new beliefs, and new intellectual/emotional functions.

What we call “failure” is a natural process of adjustment. Problems arise because, rather than accepting this natural course, we tend to demand instant transition into a new business, relationship, physical skill set, etc.

imagine the pain, frustration, and anger that could be avoided if we were taught the truth about transitional processes. Instead people of all ages suffer tremendously because of their inability to live up to an illusionary notion of instant success.

Backward Belief: Outside In Rather Than Inside Out

What many people call morality and some refer to as basic goodness is an expression that comes from within. Love, charity, kindness, compassion, and other virtues originate within an individual and are then shared with the world; this is the only way such energies can emerge.

But in our society we have the absurd concept of teaching (forcing) people to love. From biblical commandments to rules of conduct in pre-school classrooms we endorse the hopelessly farcical idea of forcing ourselves or others to “be good”.

Consider the 10 commandments in the book referred to by most as the “Old Testament”. This collection of rules is believed by many to outline the ultimate in pious conduct.

But how can goodness and love be the result of forced conduct? Can we know and express love by following a formula, in the same way we might read a cake recipe off the back of a box and prepare a new dessert?

It’s outrageous.

On the other hand look at the Eightfold Path of Buddhism. These ideals are used as guiding points and the underlying suggestion is that we find these notions spontaneously along our journey rather than forcing ourselves to follow or enact them regardless of our inner state.

This is a critical point that I hope readers are getting. I’m not a Buddhist, nor am I endorsing this particular religion. I’m simply pointing out the immense difference in approach between the 10 Commandments and the Eightfold Path.

On one hand we are given a set of rules me must force ourselves to abide by. We must work from the outside in to embody these ideals in our daily life… or else!

On the other hand we are shown a set of ideals to watch for along the road of life. As we seek the greater good and strive to know ourself we are likely to watch these ideals emerge from within; this requires no forced action or abstinence as change occurs from the inside out.

Overwhelmingly our planet’s organized society – regardless of religious affiliation – has taken an external “10 commandments” approach to defining morality and encouraging goodness. But this is clumsy, backwards, and fear based.

The topic of enlightenment vs. fear-driven obedience is for another article. For now I hope to have simply illustrated the crude nature of the main paradigms that have driven or society in recent centuries.

I honestly believe an awakening is presently unfolding that will guide or collective hearts and minds away from this primitive, frightened, and self-loathing way of viewing the world. And I hope this article and my underlying intentions have connected with the good people who read this blog.